Today we celebrated the Birthday of a fellow named Michael, a fellow Libra and a fellow co-worker at GoVacuum. Michael aka Mike aka the abominable snowman (just on the weekends… I haven’t questioned why, but I don’t ask a questions I don’t wanna know the answers to). Call him what you want, we just call him Mike…
Mike is always greeting not only customers with a smile, but the world in general. He started a few years ago here at the best vacuum website, quickly becoming one of our top misfits and now leads the customer service and sales team. Before starting at GoVacuum he managed a GNC nutrition center for six years and an Oreck vacuum store for trillions of nanoseconds.
Mike has always had a desire to help people. This passion once lead to him almost becoming a police officer in Prince Georges County, Maryland.
I recently found a mouse in my basement at my house and told Mike I needed a mouse trap, a few hours later he showed up with humane trap from Target and told me to set the little guy free once I captured it. I could go on for hours with stories like this about how he’s an all around great guy, but that would require more work and if you’ve ever read one of my blog entries besides this one, then you know I’m not a fan of work.
I’ll leave it at this… Mike is a World Of Warcraft player, an avid weightlifter and bowler in his free time and when he’s not bowling a near 300, he spends his time twitterpated by the beauty of his wife, who’s truly his soulmate (and is way to hot for him… just sayin’).
It’s a pleasure working with you Mike and I hope to see your bald head for the next 31 years at GoVacuum!
Wanna wish Mike a Happy Birthday? Mike@govacuum.com or call him at 888-468-2210! It would make his day!
I woke up the other morning at 1:11 pm and smiled, as this was obviously a sign of good luck and a great day ahead!
Like the commercial they play on the radio all the time, it was… Sunday! Sunday! Sunday! Was there a great sale going on at the Dulles Expo Center? Nope, but there was the Capitol Home Show and seeing as how I had free ticket, I figured… why not go?
I got out of bed, played with my Looj. Get your mind out of the gutter! That’s where the Looj belongs. You don’t know about the Irobot Looj automatic gutter cleaner? Then you should check out my previous blog about it here (it’s such a cool toy) or buy one as they are now 10% off and with Fall just around the corner leaves will be falling soon, now is a great time to buy a Looj!
If you’re not familiar with GoVacuum we are located just outside the Nations Capitol of Washington D.C. where the clouds are lost (not just the politicians). The overcast morning was not aware this is Washington the city, not the state… Seattle is on the west coast, clouds please go away!
It started raining here one day in early September and it seems like it hasn’t stopped since. I figured taking advantage of the big Dulles Expo Center and its nice bright indoor lights with beautiful non leaking roof, as this would be a great way to spend a gloomy Sunday.
I arrived at the Dulles Expo Center, handed my ticket to the bouncer at the door and he looked at me like I was crazy or something. The ticket was valid for Sunday only, this I knew. He proceeded to say some very lucky words, “It’s not Sunday, it’s Saturday!” What the heck? Did I really loose track of a whole day? Did a day really lose me? Apparently so!
I smiled. Always an opportunist, never allowing any day to get the best of me and always attempting to live life to the fullest like Garfield the cat does. I drove back home and decided to go back to sleep until it was Sunday! Sunday! Sunday!
Ever lost a day? email me and tell me about it! firstname.lastname@example.org
Thank you HBO for letting me live life vicariously through the television show Entourage for the last several years. Ari Gold you sir have inspired me. Your witty one liners always made for a good laugh. You inspired me so much after the first show, I came up with the Ari Gold rule for buying a vacuum.
Also known as the agent rule, but the Ari Gold rule sounds so much more awesome! It’s what’s known as a OJC, that’s short for Original Justin Creation. Yes, kinda like a Jersey Shore GTL type of abbreviation, because that’s just “The Situation” (although due to recent developments beyond my control (the new buffet down the street) my 6 pack of abs are more less a keg, so I guess my pseudonym is “The Complication”).
The Ari Gold rule of buying a vacuum is simple, Ari Gold always protected Vinny and his best interest. That’s his job. What did Vinny do for Ari? He paid him his managers fee, 10% of the total investment known as Vincent Chase, was paid to protect that investment. That’s it!
If you use the Ari Gold rule to buy a vacuum, you spend about 10% of the total cost of your flooring on a new vacuum cleaner. Let’s say you have hardwood, tile and carpet that totals $7,000.00 throughout your house. That means about $700.00 would be a reasonable amount to protect that investment.
Does that seem high? Not really when you think about it. For that cost you can buy a great Miele vacuum cleaner that should last about 20 years or more, about the same length of time your flooring should last. Furthermore a good vacuum will always have your floors looking their best for even 20 years from now.
Does buying a $100.00 Bissell vacuum really make sense just because it’s cheap to protect a $7,000.00 investment? Look at it this way, your home is your biggest investment, your flooring is one of the most expensive items in your home.
If you rent an apartment or only have about $1,000.00 in carpeting, then yes, a cheaper hoover vacuum about $100.00 might be a wise choice. Just remember most $100.00 vacuums won’t last 2 years, yet alone 20. Also note: most that claim HEPA filtration don’t truly filter what they claim. If you have bad allergies only buy an EN1822 certified vacuum if you have allergies.
In conclusion, Don’t forget the Ari Gold rule when buying a vacuum cleaner and remember… GoVacuum, your one stop source for all things vacuum related! Call us today at 888-468-2210 and a vacuum genius will guide you as to what vacuum cleaner is best suited for your cleaning “Situation”.
Wanna read more OJC’s? Check out our main website, I’ve got many on there. Have a question about what vacuum is best for you? Email me email@example.com. Also don’t forget to like this blog on Facebook below!
Don’t you hate it when people go on and on about their new car, their new house and how they are so great? I don’t like it when people self gloat. After all isn’t it better for someone else to say how great you are? For something great you did?
Good thing this doesn’t apply to business and me… I’m about as shameless as they come. Your source for all things related to vacuum cleaners – GoVacuum hit a milestone today and I’m about to toot our horn.
I got a phone call from a giddy sounding co-worker who said we received something in the mail from Ebay and when he opened it he couldn’t believe his eyes!
I wake up every morning and know I work a long 1-2 hours per day for the greatest website (gloating) for all things vacuum and carpet cleaning related. We simply are the bees knees of the industry! I’m not the only one that thinks so, but YOU our customer’s think so as well!
While it might be distasteful in me telling you how great we are, don’t take my word, check out over 60,000 reviews on Amazon where we have a 99% positive rating or head over to Ebay where we have over 6,000 reviews with a 99.6% positive rating! That’s 996 happy customers per 1,000! (& I can’t even get a 2nd date in my personal life, go figure!) We’re so great Ebay decided to take notice and tell us.
We got a certificate signed by the President & CEO of Ebay saying we are excellent sellers and professional! While that last part may be disputable, one thing is for sure… we do truly care and try our best to make every single customer happy. Not just with offering 60 day returns and FREE shipping paid both ways, but by taking the time to chat and speak with every customer if they desire from 8am-10pm Monday – Friday and 11am-10pm on Sunday.
Yes… I’m shameless (maybe that’s the reason I’m a 1st date only pioneer), but when everyone is telling you, you’re great and they are so happy with your service that they start to tell their family and friends about it, pretty soon you would believe it too!
Congratulations to all the misfits at GoVacuum (including the few not pictured)!
Take a moment to pat yourself on the back, good job!
What you’ve not purchased your vacuum or parts from us yet? Well, it’s about time you do so, because you’ll discover what real customer service is and there’s a 99.6% chance you’ll end up a satisfied!
Have you purchased anything from us? Are you a satisfied customer? Are you .04% of the population? If so I wanna hear from you! firstname.lastname@example.org
Yes, I was down for the count. I felt like Victor Ortiz, I made a mistake by calling out my boss and felt bad, I tried to apologize, but he cheated by sending out the newsletter to get a bunch of Facebook fans just like Floyd Mayweather took cheap shots the other night in the ring.
The difference between me and Mr. Ortiz is this… I got back up when I heard the crowd chanting my name after being sucker punched. Okay, fine maybe there’s more differences like, he’s in shape, a professional athlete and does not sell Hoover vacuum belts… But I digress.
I heard the crowds roar as I was down 167 to 109… I felt the need to prove as and like the New Kid On The Block I could school him in social media… No more games!
I plotted like Dr. Evil in Austin Powers and BAM! WHAT? WHAT? 181 to 167 and rising! KING KONG AIN’T GOT NOTHING ON ME!
How did I do it you asked? I went to the prestigious World Headquarters of GoVacuum and gathered the all the misfits for a group photo for the new about us page that will be up soon. Before big boss man got outside for the photo, I told them all to post this blog to their Facebook walls and ask others to do the same and something great would happen!
I told them we will get free lunch for a week, but they didn’t know that I was “embellishing” the truth. Nonetheless, as the chump known as Floyd Mayweather proved, a win is a win and while fighting dirty isn’t my style… I sure will be looking forward to a week of free lunches, I mean that was the agreement, I would get free lunches for a week or apologize.
Well…I’ll do both. Boss man, I take my fillet mignon medium rare thank you very much. To the misfits whom I think are the greatest bunch of guys to work with in the world, I’m sorry about my… APRIL FOOLS!
What you haven’t liked my blog yet? Well what are you waiting for? What? You think you have a better idea for a blog? Email it to me, I’m all ears! email@example.com
Okay, so big boss man decided that going toe to toe with me in the battle of the social networks was a good idea and thankfully so, because I really love my job and hope to keep it for a long time. Yet, on this second day in the ring against him, he filled his boxing gloves with metal weights and took some heavy shots at me. I need your help!
I woke up this morning feeling good, I put on my Russel Athletic hoodie sweatshirt and punched the air a few times like I was LL Cool J in the Mamma said knock you out video, started up my computer to see how many more likes I had then my boss, then reality hit me like K-fed after Britney… at that moment in time I had 102 Facebook likes on this blog and he had 133 on the website GoVacuum.com!
What the heck? We both were at 100 likes just two days ago. How can I be losing so badly? I discovered he pulled the big guns out. This intimidating man sent our newsletter early. Noooo… that’s not fair, fighting me with my own work!
While it may be hard for my fellow co-workers and blog readers to believe, I do work… seriously! I write this blog, but I also write a newsletter that’s filled with money saving coupons that’s emailed once or twice month depending on how heavy my workload is. Just the other day I got done with the next newsletter that was suppose to be sent out next week, but what did he do? He sent it out already!
Oy vey! Now he’s at 140 likes! So now customers are reading the newsletter that tells them they’ve been entered to win the Roomba 560, because everyone who receives our newsletter is automatically registered for our contest. Furthermore, they are informed in the newsletter they can double their chances to win by liking our Facebook page as well.
While this is good news for you, because you can be registered twice to win also, just by signing up for our newsletter and liking GoVacuum on Facebook, click here for the details.
It’s Bad news for me. I sit here with only 102 likes of this blog… and to make matters worse I told him I would publicly apologize for calling him out online and I’d even post a video of it on the blog (that would suck more then a Miele canister vacuum), but if I win I get free lunch for a week!
So can you help me out and post a link to this blog on your Facebook page? Tweet a link to this blog? Have a website? I’ll take a link from there as well! I can’t give you anything, but my thanks and a smile. :)
Look at it this way, you can be a innovator! You’re creating my blog street team and you’re a founding member!
Have you ever wanted to get back at your boss for making you work that extra shift or not giving you a raise? Then now’s you’re chance for sweet civil revenge by helping me out! C’mon help me out before I get knocked out in round 2! Pretend you’re Little Mac and fighting Bald Bill in Mike Tyson’s Punch Out! Let’s TKO him together! Hurry! Now he’s at 143!
Spread this blog like butter please!?! Have a question? Want that Google Plus 1 invite? Have an idea for a blog or just wanna say Wazzzzz up? Email me: Justin@govacuum.com
In this corner we have the Juggernaut known as Google with their little known, but far superior service called Plus and in this corner we have Goliath also known as Facebook… Let’s get ready (I can’t say the last part because of this sentence because of this shocking find)…
Google Plus vs Facebook
So here it is, the battle of the social networking sites. Google has attempted before to hop on the social networking bandwagon, anyone remember Orkut? Jaiku? Wave?Friend Connect? Buzz? Google you have failed, time and time again at social networking, so why is it NOW we are to join the Plus you’ve concocted?
Simplicity, no not the vacuum bags we sell, but as a Google Plus user I can say it’s a lot easier then the other flops before. In fact it’s my opinion that Google should be proud they have never given up on social networking and it seems that from their failed attempts before, they’ve learned what to do, but more importantly what not to do.
It’s almost like they just got done watching the movie The Social Network and want back to the whiteboard and wrote down what they feel is cool based off Justin Timberlakes (mostly fictional) character.
Don’t announce you’re creating Google Plus, let bloggers gossip about it… that’s cool. Don’t let people join, they must be invited… that’s cool. After someone finally gets an invite, don’t let them in right away… that’s cool. No, that ain’t cool and quite frankly I’m starting to channel Paris Hilton saying that’s hot, so before I carry around a Taco Bell dog let me point out how dumb it is Google. Not letting people in with an invite is like being the said socialite on a VIP list at a club and not letting her in the door (wait, maybe it’s a good idea after all).
Nonetheless, your dragging out this grand opening… its been months already. I’ve had the account and only have about 15 people in my circles and the last time someone else posted to their wall was a week ago.
Facebook can’t even touch Google Plus from a WOW factor, Google Plus is far superior, but you know what Google? Facebook has something you don’t… people!
So open the doors already! I’m on the Google train and armed with Google TV, Gmail, an Android tablet and soon I’ll be trading in the Blackberry for an Android phone. Pull it all together Google and I’ll be your Google poster boy, but as of now I’m a loner on a social network!?!?
I’m not worried though, for I have something special. You see my “friends” not all Google Plus invites are created the same. I was denied with my first 3 invites, but a fellow geek friend of mine gave me a 1st generation invite, the only golden ticket that gets you in without a wait. That got me 150 invites to give away. I’ve only used about 10, so I have an idea.
It’s me vs my boss (you know your job is awesome when you can call your boss out in online and get away with it, especially when he stands 6’5!). In the short time I’ve written this blog I have 100 Facebook likes as of now. The main company website that sells Miele bags and other parts is GoVacuum.com and they have exactly 100 likes as well.
So here we go… if you enjoy reading this blog and if you Facebook like my blog I’ll send you a golden ticket to Google Plus or if you Facebook like our company website GoVacuum.com I’ll still send you one. Just email me… that’s it!
Here it is, me vs my boss in the battle of social networking… let’s see who likes, who more (in the event I get fired for this idea the email address will be void, so hurry up and email me your Google Plus request already)!
So how much better can Google Plus be then Facebook? Email me for a free invite, no purchase required, I will only send 1 invite per email, firstname.lastname@example.org Do you have an idea for a blog or just wanna sound off? Know how to file for unemployment? Email me!
I woke up a few hours ago at approximately 3:19 am and 22 seconds, I had the worst case of morning froth mouth ever, So I grabbed a glass of water and took a gulp, that just seemed to move the contamination around and felt like I just drank frog residue. I literally jumped up out of bed and grabbed the tooth brush and brushed the remaining toofers and took a big schwig of mouth wash. After gargling in rhythm to the tone of Ice Ice Baby, I rinsed out my mouth with EdenPure 2000 filtered well water, then I stopped… collaborated… and listened.
Was Iceman back with his brand new invention? No, nothing this epic was happening (but I’m hoping for a world tour), what I was hearing was silent, but had a strong odor, my eyes began to water and my allergies begin to bother me, was my IQAir Healthpro Plus not working? Nope it was running just fine. What was happening then became abundantly clear when I looked in my shower.
MOLD! Yes, somehow mold had decided to make its was in to my life and bathroom. Like a deer caught in headlights, I stood there gazing upon this unwanted furry friend for a long amount of time, after the staring contest I lost, I ran down looking like Homer Simpson in my tighty whities at 4:00 am to GoVacuum.
After crawling over a Miele vacuum, 4 boxes of Miele vacuum bags, and more Miele vacuum parts like HEPA filters, because whoever demonstrated the Miele Capricorn for the customer last night, didn’t put everything back (ahem, ahem!), I then found what I was looking for!
I filled the 1.5 liter water tank with contaminated well water and plugged it in. After just a few minutes, it hit 248 degrees and was steaming, so I did the only thing I could do, I blasted my prized Vanilla Ice cassette tape and got to work.
I was like Muhammad Ali, talking smack while I put the beat down on soap sum, shower residue and mold, they all just melted away, I guess I’m just too hot to handle! Even the tricky mold in the corners were no match for the micro set of included attachments.
By the time the third song of the tape was blasting out my boombox, I was done. I still had plenty of steam left, because the steam cleaner gives off continuous steam for 30 minutes per fill up. So like the old lady in There’s Something About Mary, I started one of my favorite past times… freaky speed cleaning!
After 2 hours of vacuuming, steaming my kitchen counter tops, oven, microwave and refrigerator. I was still pumped! So I danced around like Tom Cruise in Risky Business until I got tired. Moral of the story? Not even mold wins a staring contest with me when I’m armed with Italian machinery.
Do you have a story of how you rocked out to the greatest rapper to ever touch a mic? Well, VIP… lets kick it over to me in an email email@example.com. Did you laugh? Share our blog with your friends on Facebook! GoVacuum blog! Like us on Facebook and you will be entered to win a Roomba 560 vacuum cleaner, visit here for more info. Did you know we are located just outside Washington, DC. & Have a showroom in Chantilly, VA!
I always loved the smiley face that grew popularity in the late 1960′s. I have smiley faces all over my refrigerator, a patch on my motorcycle jacket and I’m always using his face in emails. I don’t think anyone can see smiley and not smile… can they?
So after the reminder of where we were as a nation 10 years ago, I felt saddened for those who lost their lives in the senselessness of 9/11, proud of those who stood up and took action becoming hero’s and sympathy for the families who lost loved ones.
It was a sobering evening and morning, I was reminded that the future is untold and to make a positive impact as you never know when tomorrow won’t be there. I really didn’t feel like smiling at all when I arrived at work today, but that changed and thankfully so, because I really don’t like feeling sad and depressed.
Why was my frown turned upside down? It might sound ludicrous for a couple of reasons, but yes, I went to work today and I met many Henry’s… Henry makes me smile!
Is Henry short for Henrietta and stands 5’2? Nope, but he still brings out my crooked ear to ear grin. In my 14 years in the vacuum business I’ve only met Henry once and it was back in the late 90′s. So today when he remade my acquaintance, I felt happy :)
Who is Henry? Henry is known throughout the world as the happy smiling vacuum. His red face and playful smile makes me smile and happy. When was the last time your vacuum made you happy?
After a couple of hours of exhausting work at the at the GoVacuum office, I made the excuse that I was going to go take a Henry home to “examine” him and abruptly left (after all, I just had a hard day of 120 minutes of non stop work… I was exhausted!).
Upon my arrival home with my new toy, I was reminded of how fun Henry is. I screwed the hose to his nose, plugged in his 32 foot retractable cord winder and started to vacuum with his twinflo’ motor. Here is where the human psyche is interesting, but perplexing to me, as I went around the furniture I walked back to pull Henry gently, where as with a normal vacuum I would just yank the vacuum hose harshly. Why was I gentile? It beats me, but I think it has something to do with the smiling face.
Is this happy face the reason so many Henry vacuums last for 10-20 years? I don’t know, but I do know with the big eyes looking up at me the whole time I was vacuuming, I was happy, and anytime you can do house work like vacuuming and be happy… I’ll take it!
The Henry HVR200A is not alone in the line from Numatic a British vacuum company (this is where I start my bad British accent), oh nooooo! There’s Hetty which is short for Henrietta (but not 5’2) and is pink in color model number HET 200A. Plus there is his twin, yes he has a twin named… Henry (tell me that wasn’t confusing for the lads growing up). This Henry is model HVR-200m.
In conclusion if you have a kid, husband, wife or housekeeper who abuses vacuums, go ahead and try one of the Henry or Hetty vacuums at 10% off! Risk free for 60 days, if you don’t like it, return it, we’ll even pay shipping both way! Yet, I have faith you’ll keep yours and you might be surprised as how long a Numatic vacuum last in your home!
Own a Henry or Hetty? What do you think of yours? Email me! Justin@GoVacuum.com :)
I had an exhausting morning yesterday as I was recovering from my LaborDayAPalooza festivities. I woke up bloated and had a headache from all the food and stress I endured because of the remote control batteries. After laying in bed I decided to get up and exercise. Yes, I know what you’re thinking, why ruin a good start to the week by exercising after such an epic holiday on Monday?
You see, my good Facebook contest friends, LaborDayAPalooza is just one day per year, so for the other 364 ¼ days I do exercise each morning by speed walking to the mailbox at the end of the driveway (even on Sundays… what’s OCD?) and I maintain a healthy diet of processed genetically modified and unnaturally enriched foods, plus I use EdenPure Aqua 2000 filtered ice in most all my organic high-fructose corn syrup drinks, which after all is a vegetable! That’s right, only the healthiest of the healthiest for my palate will do.
Yes, these healthy lifestyle choices that I make is perhaps why I often get confused for Brad Pitt when I roam the local big box stores for savings in my fitted XXXL “WingMan” shirt.
Side note: oddly enough these mega mart stores are not as cheap as our little mega website GoVacuum.com. Oh no… let me stop before I start some shameless self promotion and tell you how we offer 60 day returns with free shipping both ways paid by us… oh well to late!
Nonetheless… after that great mailbox cardio and some fruit aka Apple Jacks Cereal a healthy part of this complete breakfast!
I took a shower and then started the day off talking to myself in the mirror like Gary Busey does.
I sat down in my nature inspired office and poured myself a glass of “grape juice”, I was ready to “work” but something was off… I couldn’t pin point it, and for no particular reason why, I was tired. I didn’t want to strain my eyes on the laptop screen, nor did I want my boss to have a workman’s compensation lawsuit from an attorney I could find on a day time television ad, so I did the responsible thing and went back inside to rest my eyes.
After about seven hours of self inflicted eye rejuvenation and relaxation management therapy, I deemed myself healthy enough to get to work. So… I took my lunch break, two hours later I was ready to write the GoVacuum blog, but I was still stressed due to my long work hours. It then hit me like a Sebo Airbelt K3 canister vacuum falling down the stairs. I needed a change of pace and scenery, so I decided to go in to the GoVacuum World Wide Headquarters in Chantilly, VA.
Upon my arrival at 6:00pm I was informed that due to the recent success of our 10% off site wide GoVacuum coupon that can be used on most everything excluding Miele, Sebo and IQ Air. A few of the vacuum geniuses (kind of like an Apple Genius, but for vacuums not computers) at GoVacuum were having a bowling night on the websites dime.
I immediately questioned each and every single GoVacuum vacuum genius! How is it, I was not informed of this social company gathering? Is the beloved blogger loved by anyone anymore? Did I even ever mean anything at all to her (I mean the GoVacuum geniuses)? I felt heartbroken and much like the great comedian Rodney Dangerfeld… apparently, I get no respect! =(
Just as I was starting to click my heels and recite that there’s no place like home, Mike the friendly senior sales and customer service manager who had just helped inform a customer on how to replace a vacuum belt in her Kirby upright vacuum, told me something that even my deaf right ear heard loud and clear. “Justin, Buddy… sorry this was not written up in an email, it’s an improvised thing, you’re more then welcome to come along!”
As my goofy grin expanded, and my eyes lit up like Rodneys, the rest of the geniuses chimed in and with open arms and invited me to tag along on this exclusive event. ALRIGHT! I was gonna go bowling for the second time in 15 years.
After 5-10 minutes of grueling office work, we left for the great GoVacuum bowling extravaganza! I need to point out some troopers still held the fort down while I was attempting to bowl in the double digits and that’s not only because we have the greatest vacuum industry personnel working at GoVacuum, even though we do. Nope, it’s because of the extended hours. That’s right all the chat and toll-free telephone lines are open from 8am-10pm EST Monday- Saturday plus 11am-10pm on Sunday.
Needless to say we had a blast, Mike bowled well and the rest… well… they did better then me! Plus they didn’t make fun of me… at least not to my face. After a few frames we all hurried home, tucked ourselves in the bed and had dreams of sweet Oreck xlpro6a back pack vacuums… (OKAY! That last one is untrue… I was dreaming of a mystical girl who broke my heart, I mean the mystical Miele Capricorn canister vacuum cleaner with seb236).
Did you laugh? Share our blog with your friends on Facebook or tweet it! GoVacuum blog is at www.govacuum.us! Have a comment, wanna tell me your bowling score average? Anything just email me so I look busy! firstname.lastname@example.org